The Spectrum of Grief: Cultivating Compassion and Healing
Co-authors: Lashica Hilliard, RN, Clinical Manager of Complex Case Management and Brian Harty, Head of Total Rewards, Transcarent
Grief is something that touches all of us. We all know what it's like to lose someone we love; grief does not discriminate. It’s a journey that’s a universal experience.
National Grief Awareness Day
National Grief Awareness Day was founded on August 30, 2014, by Angie Cartwright to raise awareness and address the many ways grief can manifest in our lives1. Cartwright created this day in hopes that people would receive the support and education needed for them to heal through the 5 stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
Grief Impacts the Whole Person
One of the biggest misconceptions about grief is that it only manifests itself emotionally. That is far from the truth. Grief can impact the whole person from physical to mental health. Most people associate grief with loneliness, sadness, guilt, feelings of numbness and more; however, symptoms of grief can also appear as stomach pain, fatigue, headaches, brain fog, elevated cortisol levels and joint pain2. While these physical symptoms often get overlooked, they highlight just how deeply grief can affect us and why it's so important to talk about it.
Grief is a very nuanced topic to discuss, especially in the workplace, but it doesn’t have to be. People often feel like they must compartmentalize and leave their grief at home or behind their computer screen. That is why it’s crucial to amplify the mental health resources available to support our colleagues. Many Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) offer confidential vital counseling and assistance for various reasons, including grief and loss.
The Workplace and Grief
Providing diverse and flexible bereavement resources isn't just about showing compassion to your team; it's about fostering a truly equitable and supportive work environment for everyone. Grief is a fundamental part of the human experience that, when acknowledged and supported, can ultimately cultivate a more empathetic, compassionate, and productive workplace.
When employers lead with compassion and grace, it means:
Acknowledging the Loss Directly: A simple "I'm so sorry for your loss" or "I heard about [name of loved one], I'm so sorry" goes a long way. Avoid overused sayings like "Everything happens for a reason" or "They're in a better place."
Listening Actively and Without Judgment: Create space for grieving individuals to talk about their feelings and memories without interruption, advice, or judgment. Sometimes, just being present and listening is the most powerful form of support.
Being Patient and Understanding: Grief is messy and unpredictable. Be prepared for emotional fluctuations, reduced energy, or changes in behavior. Avoid putting a timeline on someone's grief or expecting them to "get over it."
Respecting Boundaries: Some people need space, while others crave connection. Follow the grieving person's lead and respect their need for solitude or company.
Continuing to Show Care: The initial outpouring of support often fades, but grief can last a long time. Remember important dates like anniversaries or birthdays and reach out with a kind word or gesture.
Normalize Talking About Hard Times at Work: Make it okay to discuss death and loss in the workplace. If necessary, hire experts to facilitate these conversations. Leaders must set the tone to create a supportive environment where nothing is taboo.
While leading with empathy and compassion toward others is essential in the workplace, it's equally important to extend that same kindness to yourself if you’re dealing with grief. Cultivating empathy for yourself is productive and helps sustain your well-being. Prioritizing mental health through intentional self-care isn't just beneficial, it’s necessary.
Self-care looks different for everyone. It could be a simple treat, like visiting your favorite coffee shop, or it could be a more significant step, like talking with a therapist or a trusted loved one. These small actions make a big difference to your well-being. Additionally, connecting with others who share similar experiences can be a powerful part of the healing process. Seeking out a support group can provide a space for connection and help you on your healing journey.
As Psychologist Mary-Frances O’Connor states, “grief is not something you can get rid of, it becomes a part of who you are and how you understand the world.3”
It does not matter if someone lost a loved one year ago or 10 years ago, it is important to show up and support friends and colleagues in any way we can.
Sources:
Grief | How right now | Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (n.d.). https://www.cdc.gov/howrightnow/emotion/grief/index.html#:~:text=Grief%20is%20a%20response%20to,in%20crisis%2C%20help%20is%20available
National Day Calendar. (2014, August). NATIONAL GRIEF AWARENESS DAY | August 30. Retrieved August 26, 2025, from https://www.nationaldaycalendar.com/national-day/national-grief-awareness-day-august-30
What happens in our brain when we grieve — and how it helps us stay afloat. (2021, December 18). Apple Podcasts. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/life-kit/id1461493560?i=1000545338807
